How NOT to sell your home.

Nanaimo Real Estate

You have your home for sale, but you love it and have wonderful memories. I understand that you might not want to sell, and that you may not need assistance in achieving that goal. I usually help people sell their homes, but I understand when people don’t want to sell. It is after all, their choice.  And in an effort to help everyone I thought I would share with you all the things that you can do to ensure no serious buyers show interest in your home for sale:

  1. List the  house yourself and be sure to advertise only in the newspaper and on some DIY Real Estate website that few buyers would think of looking at seriously.
  2. If you do use a Realtor, then don’t believe any advice they give.
  3. Instead, get selling tips from your uncle, your dentist, or the guy next door.
  4. Avoid doing any market research and just price the home on what you “feel” is a correct price.
  5. Explain to your Realtor that the commission will be cut for Buyer’s Agents.
  6. Don’t allow a lock box, which will mean that prospective Buyer’s Agents will have to drive across town a few times to pick up and drop off the keys for just your property. This will cut down on the number of people who see your home.
  7. Don’t allow a for sale sign to be placed in front of your home. That way if there is a prospective buyer driving buy they won’t know your home is for sale and your neighbours who probably love the neighbourhood won’t be telling their friends and family about the opportunity down the street.
  8. Keep your house messy – that way if a potential buyer decides they want to view your property right away and on short notice, the prospective buyer will not be able to see the home through all the clutter.
  9. For goodness sake, don’t stage the house or clean up the outside of your home. If you do that then your home might invite an offer.
  10. Stay home during an open house or showing and follow the buyers through each and every room so you don’t give them a second to themselves.
  11. Should that dreaded offer be made, don’t negotiate at all. Stick to your guns and your house will certainly not sell.
  12. Assume that because the colours and decor of your home suits your own tastes, that everyone else in the world will share those tastes.
  13. Take offence to any feedback regarding your home that isn’t 100% positive. Your home is the most beautiful in the area and does not need to be changed in any way to attract more attention from buyers.
  14. Make sure that when people enter your home, that is just screams your unique personality. This way buyers will have more trouble visualizing it as their own home while they look at all your neat stuff on the walls.

Of course this post is tongue-in-cheek, but hopefully it will demonstrate to you some of the pitfalls that might befall you if you are not careful. Rest assured,  the sarcastic tone is for entertainment value as you will never hear sarcasm while working with me as your Nanaimo Realtor. I just wanted to remind people that listing your home is not necessarily the same as selling your home. My goal as a Realtor is to sell it, but we both need to have that goal in order for it to happen. Like I said, it’s your choice!

Ryan Coffey

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